When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

I’m not self conscious approximately my body because I know that there are things that I just can’t change…Okay, that’s a damn lie. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see looking back at me. Its in our nature to compare ourselves to other individuals. At some point we think, why don’t I look like that, or why don’t I have this and that.

Our Insight of ourselves should never be compromised by the need to look like somebody else or appear a sure way. Let’s be honest though, sometimes its tough to not be self conscious of what we perceive to be flaws. Perhaps its the way one talks, or walk or heck, eats!

I gaslight myself so tough. Sometimes I’ll just be walking in front of someone, and suddenly I’m wondering whether I have rickets and no one has ever told be approximately it. I tell myself that whether I can’t see them, then they can’t see me. That’s how I deal with embarrassing situations … Or Life in general. This is why I prefer to spend my time reading than talking to people. The longer my nose is stuck on the pages of a book, the less the chances of me humiliating myself.

In today’s world, there are sure matters one has to possess in order to be considered conventionally attractive. Its the modern age of BBls, fillers and well, anything else that money can buy.

Why is beauty so capitalistic?

Like any normal girl, I sometimes find myself browsing skin care products that promise clear, beautiful, glowing skin, that will be as soft as a baby’s buttocks. I watch videos of people showing us how to scrub, cleanse, tone and a whole lot of other things that I have no idea how to do.

I’m convinced that the day I’ll Learn how to shape my eyebrows, the sun will rise at night! Why is it so tough!

The problem is, they always end up using so many products and every time I look at the prices, i’m thankful that at least God gave me personality and a sense of humor. I can work with that. I’m all for lucid skin but I will not bankrupt myself. Honestly, at this rate whether God, soap and an abundance of clean Village air can’t fix it, then no vitamin c can do it.

The worst part is that these feelings of inadequacy creep in at the most inopportune times. Have you ever accidentally met your crush while you’re dressed like you’ve just been released from a intellectual institution, fought a rabid lion and been ran throughout by a truck? Queue mental knockout punch to self.

How am I supposed to thrive in these conditions. Sometimes I meet someone and I have to fight the urge to blurt out that I in fact know how to dress, I just don’t have money. Imagine having to convey through eye contact, seismic waves and the holy ghost that you don’t always look like that.

Maybe I should walk around with a placard that reads, ‘Give me time‘. Once I am wealthy, then we can talk. Then again, wealthy people can probably tip their fortunes to their forefathers. Chile, the only thing I can tip to my forefathers is slavery and oppression.

The other day I was paying for something on my phone and I could feel the other persons focus on my nails… Or their non existence really. Look, I know they’re ugly okay, I just can’t help myself. I tend to bite my nails whenever I’m anxious (which is nearly every day I’ve been a life) so you can imagine what I’m working with right now. Its a nasty habit that I’ve tried to give up but I’ve failed. Whether I concentrate really hard to control the urge, I can make it to one month tops.

On the brighter side at least I’m only addicted to nail biting and not, oh I don’t know chad, drugs perhaps!

Why do we let these superficial matters hurt us anyways? So fucking what if your forehead is big, or you don’t like how your body is shaped, or your teeth aren’t white enough, or someone is prettier/more good-looking than you… So what? I wish we all Learn to accept and love our imperfections.

Most of the matters that we think of as flaws can easily be constant anyway. And even provided they can’t, you didn’t create yourself love. You’re not God so calm Down. I know its tough but remember that what people think of you, is none of your business.

PS: love yourself and all that.

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