‘My life is empty, and the only reason I dance is because they’ll have no reason to love me whether I don’t.’
Break by Mila Crawford was compelling and fairly different to anything we’ve read in a while. It was toxic, emotional, problematic, and passionate. It was dark, dysfunctional, and disturbing. It was tragic, harrowing, heartbreaking, and intense. The scenes describing the dance though were written with such ardour and beauty we felt as whether we were watching it come alive. Mila Crawford created something incredibly vivid with her words and we were there for the roller-coaster ride with Sprint and Natalya as they navigated one fucked up relationship and dance career.
‘I would have done anything for her, and all she did was leave me in ruins. I was dumb once, but I’ll never be that naïve again. I used to hate seeing her cry, but now all I want is for her to break down into nothing. I want her to feel the emptiness and loneliness, be trapped in it like I was for eight years. I had to crawl my way out of it. I want to watch Natalya crawl. Beg me for mercy.’
What happens when a homeless freestyle dancer with a scholarship to a prestigious dance academy befriends a prima ballerina with a controlling mother who demands her own brand of unbalanced perfection? Carnage, that’s what. Our hearts broke for them both, especially when their consequent actions became so extreme and disturbing. Revenge is certainly not candy in Break by Mila Crawford.
‘Is this even dancing? This pulsing joy, this almost violent exuberance where I feel like I can fly and slay dragons in the same breath? It feels a lot like love…’
Sprint and Natalya as characters were compelling, we went from insane dislike -we especially struggled with Sprint at times- to compassion, to being disturbed by them, to understand all the why’s and finally liking them for the journey they had to outlive, the beauty of their dance and what they went through to find their own messed up version of love.
“You can hate me all you want, but I am never going to stop taking care of you. You can reject me. You can push me absent, but I can’t stop how I feel about you or my need to keep you safe, to feed you, to try to shield you from those who want to do you harm. I fucked up, and I know it. I’ll remorse that for remainder of my life. But I won’t give up on you.”
We have to say that this is our favourite book by this Author as it was so well-written with a myriad of emotions. The ardour was intense and at times it was super-hot, we have to say we’ve never read approximately food kink before! ‘I’m already confused about food, and when Dash feeds me, it feels like foreplay.’ We do have to mention that there are a lot of triggers in this book, so go carefully into Dash and Natalya’s story -to name a few- you’ve got CNC, violence, degradation, eating disorders, and mental abuse. It’s certainly not an easy read at times. But then again, there are also candy and poignant moments too in this friends to enemies to lovers romance.
‘I had a long way to fall, and Dashiell Cunningham had a long way to climb, but here we are together, about to reintroduce down the house.’