Welcome back to Cover Snark! Let’s settle in, shall we?

Her Earth Mates by Lark Sterling and Meg Ripley. Three shirtless men are looking down on a confused brunette woman and a grizzly bear.

From Jen: The guy on the left – his side/stomach. I just don’t understand all the ripples. Also the bear just looks thrown in there at the last minute.

Sarah: I am very concerned for his hydration levels.

Amanda: I hope the bear gets paid well for the use of its image. We see it a lot.

Sarah: Salmon Snacks for Life.

Carrie: The bear is just waiting for another bear to show up so it can finally know REAL love.

Sarah: “Humans are so boring.”

EllenM: I’m going to need the members of the reverse bear harem to put down the steroids and slowly back away.

Sarah: BEARem?

Sneezy: “Get yourself a BEARem! But be careful! They might want you to bear’em lots!!!”

The Player by Clare Contreras. A heavily tattooed, shirtless man is gazing at the sky. His pecs are massive and his waist is tiny. His pants are definitely going to fall off his hips.

Maya: I was just trying to find a new book to listen to, but now I’m all worried about this dude’s proportions!!

Carrie: He looks like he’s inflated by air but only part way and his stomach hasn’t been inflated yet.

Maya: His pants don’t fit because he keeps shrinking, but only the middle parts!

Sneezy: You know how some people inject themselves with stuff to balloon some of their muscles out?

Shana: I see waist training with a corset is going well.

Tara: Yeah, I was thinking corset too.

Elyse: All of his organs are in his pecs now.

Shana: Omg, why can’t I stop laughing at that image now?

Guardian of Darkness by Kathryn Le Veque. A shirtless and headless man with balloony pecs stands in front of a snow castle. One hand is making a symbol with his index and middle finger. He just has a fur loincloth and bracers on.

From LK: I found a cover snark candidate.

Sarah: Yes. Yes you did.

It looks like originally his hand was at his waist, and it was shaded out and replaced by…whatever that hand is.

Carrie: Is this a Captain Hammer situation?

Amanda: Surely he will freeze, sir. Unless the pecs are hot water bottles.

Shana: His outfit is giving me Conan the Barbarian vibes, but at least they didn’t make that dude strut in the snow.

Highland Spy by Elizabeth Rose. A shirtless highlander poses in the Highlands. His has his sword resting on his shoulder. Yes, the edge of the blade (not the flat) is resting against his skin.

From Lace: Cover snark says ‘OW’

Sarah: I wouldn’t recommend mullet grooming with a sword but what do I know?

Tara: Or shoulder shaving with a sword. (Say that five times, real fast.)

Sneezy: I don’t see how looking like you’re about to decapitate yourself at any moment makes you an effective spy.

Tara: No one will suspect you’re a spy if they think you’re an idiot?

Maya: Hey, everyone knows the look back and flex is the classic spy move right after sitting on a park bench pretending to read a newspaper!

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