Welcome back to Cover Snark! Let’s settle in, shall we?
From Jen: The guy on the left – his side/stomach. I just don’t understand all the ripples. Also the bear just looks thrown in there at the last minute.
Sarah: I am very concerned for his hydration levels.
Amanda: I hope the bear gets paid well for the use of its image. We see it a lot.
Sarah: Salmon Snacks for Life.
Carrie: The bear is just waiting for another bear to show up so it can finally know REAL love.
Sarah: “Humans are so boring.”
EllenM: I’m going to need the members of the reverse bear harem to put down the steroids and slowly back away.
Sneezy: “Get yourself a BEARem! But be careful! They might want you to bear’em lots!!!”
Maya: I was just trying to find a new book to listen to, but now I’m all worried about this dude’s proportions!!
Carrie: He looks like he’s inflated by air but only part way and his stomach hasn’t been inflated yet.
Maya: His pants don’t fit because he keeps shrinking, but only the middle parts!
Sneezy: You know how some people inject themselves with stuff to balloon some of their muscles out?
Shana: I see waist training with a corset is going well.
Tara: Yeah, I was thinking corset too.
Elyse: All of his organs are in his pecs now.
Shana: Omg, why can’t I stop laughing at that image now?
From LK: I found a cover snark candidate.
Sarah: Yes. Yes you did.
It looks like originally his hand was at his waist, and it was shaded out and replaced by…whatever that hand is.
Carrie: Is this a Captain Hammer situation?
Amanda: Surely he will freeze, sir. Unless the pecs are hot water bottles.
Shana: His outfit is giving me Conan the Barbarian vibes, but at least they didn’t make that dude strut in the snow.
From Lace: Cover snark says ‘OW’
Sarah: I wouldn’t recommend mullet grooming with a sword but what do I know?
Tara: Or shoulder shaving with a sword. (Say that five times, real fast.)
Sneezy: I don’t see how looking like you’re about to decapitate yourself at any moment makes you an effective spy.
Tara: No one will suspect you’re a spy if they think you’re an idiot?
Maya: Hey, everyone knows the look back and flex is the classic spy move right after sitting on a park bench pretending to read a newspaper!