The Rec League - heart shaped chocolate resting on the edge of a very old book

One, I hope you’ll enjoy the title I came up for this request. Two, this one came from our own Catherine and Sneezy:

Catherine: So Sneezy and I were watching Eurovision 1956 and one thing led to another and now we are wondering about a rec league for smutty closet/wardrobe action…

Amanda: I’m sure we’re all curious about what led to this!

Sarah: I’m sorry what action?

Sneezy: Smut actions!

In closets!

Sarah: So books with boning inside a closet.

A journey to bonetown in the clothes cupboard?

Catherine: Say Yes to the Duke by Eloisa James definitely has hot closet action.

There’s a Take Me To Narnia scene in one of Celeste Bradley’s Liar’s Club books, too. I can’t for the life of me work out which one, though. Maybe The Charmer?

Anne Gracie has implied Narnia action in The Perfect Waltz, but it’s closed door. Always best to close the door when having sexytimes in a wardrobe.

Ooh! Contemporary closet sexytimes in The Mistake by Elle Kennedy ( A | BN | K | AB | Au ). That wasn’t the mistake in question, either.

Carrie: Faking It by Jennifer Crusie ( A | BN | K | G | AB )

Sneezy: Moira Rogers has a novella that’s just closet fun times, but I haven’t found it yet!!

Amanda: For some reason, my brain read that as Moira Rose and I was doubly intrigued.

Catherine: Why romance novel closet sex is awesome.

  • You have the whole ‘what if we get caught, we must be super quiet!’ trope. This is hot!
  • Sex in closets usually implies spontaneity and also extreme horniness. Nobody plans for sex in a closet. It’s shorthand for ‘hero and heroine absolutely cannot keep their hands off each other. This is also hot!
  • Sex in closets almost always happens because we are spying on someone or breaking into someone’s house or otherwise up to hijinks and overhearing interesting things. So we have an element of danger, and also an element of ‘what are they thinking?’ because who takes time out in the middle of a burglary or important spy mission to boink? Romance novel protagonists, that’s who! But obviously this is because they can’t resist each other which, again, super hot.
  • Also, I always have to wonder about the logistics. There isn’t a lot of space in closets, and romance heroes tend to have broad shoulders. And so, like a virgin heroine in a regency romance, one is left wondering whether it could possibly fit…

In conclusion, all romance novels should have wardrobe sex in them.

Which romances have a sexy closet scene? Let us know!

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